Why Santorum would be better as actual shit than figurative

You can use shit in your garden to help your flowers grow.

Seriously, I usually stop early in my analysis of Santorum. He earns his asshole stamp as soon as he argues against the existence of privacy. Then he gets another merit badge in buggery by equating homo sex with bestiality. By the time he blamed Puritan Boston for causing the Catholic Church around the world to condone and protect child molestation and homo sex, I was already on to the next page.

But here are some things we should also remember about that asshole Rick Santorum, USS:

• Santorum believes millions of people are uninsured because, "some people don't want [insurance] - like the Amish." [Harrisburg Patriot, 6/10/97]
  
• Santorum believes child care is a "Washington" issue that ordinary Americans don't care about. [Congressional Quarterly, 3/9/05]
  
• He said that the environmental movement's days are numbered and that environmentalism is against nature. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, 4/24/95]
  
• He believes in privatizing Social Security. [Congressional Record, S3231, 4/5/05]
  
• Santorum thinks it's wrong to help single mothers earn a college degree. In his book, It Takes a Family, Santorum said that "The notion that college education is a cost-effective way to help poor, low-skill, unmarried mothers with high school diplomas or GEDs move up the economic ladder is just wrong." [It Takes a Family, pg. 138]

I don't like Casey, but I hate this motherfucker. I hope he hasn't saved any of his Senator money, and that his family has to figure out like mine did how to survive on its own efforts in the George Bush Eco-Oh No!-nomy.

Public Enemy Number One

The Rove story is now out of the news. Scooter and Cheney are nowhere to be seen. Bush is installing Strap-on Bolton as our interface with the rest of the world. Jesus freaks are glued to the 700 Club praying for their man Roberts no one else seems to know.

And Guess who's back: Scott Peterson! You remember him from such smokescreens as: Cheney bought the Energy Policy from Enron", and "Honey, the Supreme Court Went Duck Hunting with Cheney Before Hearing why we Shouldn't Know Anything about National Policy Decisions Made in Cooperation with the Most Crooked Outfit in US History ". He was also big during "Condoleeza didn't read the fucking memo either- It was the FBI's job."

Of course the Republicans had some influence over US Energy Policy, but they have some legitimate claim to that since they did get control of the government. The Most Crooked Outfit might be the RNC, but the one I'm poking at is ENRON. The ones who took your parents' retirement money. The ones who bankrolled their Houston savant into the White House. You know, their accountants are now in charge of auditing the government. Remember Enron?

Of course they did it by strictly controlling the message. And the news. And access to reality. And with the cooperation of Fox, the media wing of the Repsychoican party, they present daily talking points, hammer them for weeks, and complain about the terrible job the Democrats are doing running the country.

Scott Peterson. I never thought I'd hear that irrelevant name again.